Something About Pirates
by Firefly Fairy In A Bottle
Summary: Russell has had quite enough of Vinnie and Sunil's ever-so-close friendship, and vows to get them together if it's the last thing he does. But instead of carrying out a simple plan, he finds himself wrapped up in a disaster only the Littlest Pet Shop pets could cause. VinnieSunil, with other pairings lightly scattered throughout.
1. Chapter 1

"Race ya to the TV!" Vinnie's voice bounces off the walls of the pet shop, and Sunil grins before chasing after him. A few feet behind, Russell smiles and shakes his head. He brings a hand up to brush back a stray spine, sighing slightly. The smile never fades.

They're too much.

Laughing like the pair of idiots they are, Vinnie and Sunil reach the TV. Sunil caught up with Vinnie all too soon, and now the gecko is few paces behind. In one last attempt to win the race, he lunges forward, slamming into Sunil. They land on a pile of pillows (which they had set up in front of the TV over an hour ago) in a mess of green scales and blue fur. A silent moment passes by, and then the two of them are laughing heartily, clutching each other's sides.

From the other side of the day camp area, Russell looks on in approval, and continues to watch as they playfully shove each other away and giggle some more as they decide what movie to watch. He clenches one hand into a tight fist, trying to get the bubbly, tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach to subside.

They are _too_ much.

They've always been like this—at least for as long as Russell has known them. Since the day he's met them, they've been watching monster movies, clinging to each other for comfort; playing pranks and leaning on each other when they couldn't breathe from laughing too hard; dancing, putting on magic acts, and otherwise being total show-offs; speaking to each other in hushed whispers, their faces just a _little_ too close to each other's…

And Russell is _through_ with it. He's absolutely _done_. He won't stand for it anymore.

_I mean, how much longer are they going to __**stay**__ like this?_ Every day it's the same with them. They grow closer and closer, and yet nothing ever changes. They watch their monster movies, they play their pranks, and that's it. And it drives Russell _crazy_, because they're _so_ close, and yet _so_ far. It's like they're _teasing_ him; waving the idea in front of his face before snatching it away again.

And they don't even _know_ they're doing it. Here Russell is, pulling his spines out because of them, and they're just _sitting_ there, laughing and chatting like it's any old normal day (which it _is_, because nothing _ever_ changes between them). Completely blind to his dilemma, as usual.

Vinnie whispers something to Sunil and then there's more giggling. Russell can't decide whether to smile or claw his own eyes out. Just a little closer, just a _little closer_, that's all they needed to be, and _then_…! But Vinnie and Sunil stay put. They do not move closer, no matter how intensely Russell stares at them. Unforgivable.

Well no more. This time Russell's not stopping until Vinnie and Sunil are watching that movie in each other's arms. Or _any_ movie. Hell, Russell doesn't care _what_ they're doing, so long as they're a couple.

It makes so much sense; pairing Vinnie's laid-back, sunny disposition with Sunil's panicky, often negative way of thinking. They aren't polar opposites, but they balance each other out rather nicely. They're already close—close enough to be comfortable with touching each other, in fact—so who's to say they _couldn't_ take it to the next level?

They can, and they will—that is, if Russell has anything to say about it. He can't spend another day sitting around, hoping something will happen; especially when he spends most of his time with the pair. He can't watch them _do this_ anymore. It made him happy once, but now it's just… too much. He _needs_ them to be together.

Russell massages the space between his eyes, soothing his headache. He's thinking too hard about this. It's simple, really. Just… nudge them in the right direction. That's all there is to it. One of them will get it eventually. He just needs to be persistent, clever, and subtle. It'll all go smoothly, so long as he sticks to the plan.

He takes a peek at his clipboard, which he clutches to his side as if his life depends on it. No one has to know. He'll throw a few hints out, they'll realize how perfect they'd be, and no one will ever know Russell had anything to do with it.

At least, that's the plan.

**AN- Ooh, yes! This is a fanfiction I've been wanting to write since I first entered the LPS fandom! My desire to write it only got worse as my shipper!Russell headcanon spread. ^-^;; But now I've started! It's here!**

**I don't know how often updates will be- I've got this, my videos, and an upcoming comic to worry about. Not to mention play practice (which is nearly done, though) and school (which should be starting in about a month or so).**


	2. Chapter 2

_Method #1: Playful Teasing_

Russell stares at the words neatly scrawled on his clipboard, heart pounding. His gaze drifts back to Vinnie and Sunil, sitting in front of the television with horrified looks on their faces. A movie is playing now—something about ghosts, it seems. A pale face (obviously just face paint and special effects) flashes across the screen, and the two of them shriek, clinging to each other in fear. Russell rolls his eyes, grinning nonetheless. What dorks.

Back to the plan. Will it work? He can't expect it to work on the first try, but it has to have _some_ sort of effect. At the very least, they'll begin to consider the idea . . . Right? With Vinnie's cluelessness and Sunil being accustomed to this kind of behavior, he can't say for sure . . .

But he can't overthink it. The time for action is now. With only four minutes until snack time, he sets aside his clipboard and marches forward.

He approaches them from behind, and can't help but smile at the sight of them holding each other close. Not exactly what he meant by, "watching that movie in each other's arms," but it's still satisfying. "Hey!" he cries, and there's a little bit of vengeful pleasure that comes with hearing them scream. Sweet, sweet revenge. Maybe next time they'll think before deciding to prank him.

They turn to look at him, chests still pressed together, eyes wide in fear. Russell tries his best to ignore the twitching at the corner of his lips—the beginnings of a smile. He gives himself a moment to take it all in, being sure to choose his next words carefully.

"Alright, lovebirds. Snack time's in three minutes." He waves his hand towards them, gesturing to their cuddly position. "Break it up."

There's a brief moment of silence, making Russell hold his breath. And then Vinnie and Sunil look at where their arms are positioned, before sharing a look and hastily pulling away. Nervous chuckles bubble up and drift through the day camp, letting Russell know he's done well. He turns on his heel, grinning as he walks away.

He hears Vinnie shout, "Hey, Rusty! Wait up!" and hardly swallows a, "Quit calling me that!" He's always been fond of that nickname, but it had taken well over a year of denial before he accepted it. Telling Vinnie to stop has just become some sort of reflex.

Vinnie and Sunil follow him to the door, just as Mrs. Twombly enters with a fresh, full bowl of snacks. Russell hardly looks at her as he's handed his snack—instead, he looks back at his targets once more. Vinnie is being handed his snack, practically drooling as he stares the treat down. As Russell takes a small bite out of his own snack, he notices Sunil is staring at the ground, the walls, the ceiling; anywhere but Vinnie. And then—there it is!—there's a quick, nervous glance in Vinnie's direction. Progress? He hopes so.

Russell feels a chill down his spine, and then a concentrated, ghostlike pressure on his back. Someone is staring at him. He turns, locking gazes with surprisingly icy turquoise eyes. He decides stares at his snack before shoving the remains into his mouth. Try as he may, he can't ignore the odd looks he gets during the rest of snack time.

As soon as snack time is over, Russell heads back to the pillow he had been sitting on. He sits down, reaching for his clipboard. His hand meets the floor, and his attention is immediately on the empty spot where his clipboard once rested. He _had_ put it here, hadn't he? He had set it down before getting Vinnie and Sunil. He had been sitting on _this_ very pillow; he remembers, it's his favorite pillow, the blue one. And then he had put it down _right there_, except it's _not_ there. Maybe someone took it? Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, _no_. That clipboard has his _plan_ written all over it! If someone got ahold of it . . . that would mean…

"Looking for this?"

Russell turns around, having already identified the culprit by voice alone. Minka's tail is wrapped firmly around a wooden bar, which is attached to the ceiling with strings. She hangs upside down, smiling at Russell as she holds his clipboard over his head. She giggles. "I've always wanted to say that. But I already say a _lot_, so I thought—you know—it could wait."

She doesn't seem to notice just how petrified Russell is. Finally reminding himself to breathe, he tries to keep his voice low. "What did you _read_?"

Minka's smile grows wider. "Well, I dunno . . ." She drags the words out for too long, in a very un-Minka-like fashion.

Russell's voice rises an octave. "Min_ka_ . . ."

"All of it."

Russell groans, covering his faces as he feels his cheeks burn. He can't even bring himself to look at her. He's too embarrassed. "Just . . . Just give it back, will you?" he requests, holding his hand out.

He can hear the mischievous grin in Minka's voice. "No."

Russell glares at her, taken aback by her forwardness. "'No?!' Minka, I _need_ that!"

Minka hugs the clipboard close, holding it against her chest. "I know that. _Obviously_ you need it—I mean, look at this!" She holds it out again, staring at it with an intense curiosity that Russell has come to expect from her. "Notes on their personalities, diagrams, charts, a ten-step plan . . ."

Russell holds his hand out again. "Yes, yes, I know, I wrote it. Now can I have it _back_?"

The shadiness returns to her smile as she holds the clipboard away from him. "Nope!"

Russell growls, hardly resisting the urge to shout at her, to _demand_ she return his clipboard. But Russell's not stupid. Minka wants something, and whatever it is, she's about to get it. "What do you want, Minka?"

"I want in on it."

It takes Russell by surprise, so all he can manage to say is, "Excuse me?"

Minka's smile is bigger than ever. "You heard me! Your plan is good, but you're giving them too much credit! Vinnie's not _that_ smart, and Sunil won't act on his feelings unless you _overwhelm_ him!"

Suddenly Russell is interested. "Now, when you say 'overwhelm him' . . . ?"

"You need to think _bigger_, Russell! These little things aren't gonna be _nearly_ enough to get 'em together!"

Russell steps a little closer, a smile finding its way onto his face. "What do you have in mind?"

Minka is beaming now. Her tail loosens its grip, and within seconds she's guided Russell to a nearby dog bed, but not before handing him his clipboard.


	3. Chapter 3

_Method #2: Spreading Rumors_

"Something tells me this isn't a good idea."

"I know. It's a _great_ idea!"

"That's not exactly what I meant." Russell finally averts his gaze from the blue mongoose quietly conversing with Penny Ling at the other end of the pet shop. He ducks behind the large recliner chair again, dragging Minka back with him. He gives Minka a look; a look that he hopes says, _'Maybe we shouldn't do this.'_ Minka blinks, giving him a blank stare, so Russell knows it didn't translate. He sighs. What he's feeling right now isn't exactly easy to put into words… "Ominous" might be a good one. Or maybe "misfortunate?"

No, Russell isn't feeling misfortunate, since nothing bad has happened yet. But he has a feeling that misfortune will befall them if they go through with Minka's plan. Or maybe he's just been watching too much of _The Duchess of Lancashire Lane_.

Finally, he decides to voice these concerns to Minka, who plops down onto her bottom as Russell begins to speak—almost as if she knows she'll need to get comfy. "Look, Minka, your idea is _great_ and all, but it's kind of…," he struggles to find a word that doesn't sound cruel or harsh, "controlling."

Minka blinks again, her expression hardly having changed. "Well, I don't see what the big deal is." She gestures towards Russell with one paw, for emphasis. "_You_ control people all the time, Russell!"

Russell sputters before regaining his composure, scowling as he mutters, "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Minka doesn't respond, so Russell continues. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, we shouldn't be spreading lies just to get the two of them together. It's manipulative, rude, _and_ a surefire way to get caught!"

Minka pouts. "I don't see your point," she says sharply, folding her arms across her chest.

Russell groans, massaging the bridge of his nose. He doesn't have a headache, but he wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly got one out of nowhere. He's about to argue his case when Minka starts talking; and once she starts, she doesn't stop.

"Okay, yeah, so it's _kinda_ manipulative, but what other choice do we have? You were the one who took notes on their personality, so you were already _gonna_ manipulate them anyway, right? Right?" She smiles a little, sure of herself. "Right! So, if we just go with my plan, we can be just a little more manipulative, with twice the reaction! And after this, there's no _way_ Sunil's gonna think of Vinnie as just a _friend_! And—plus—_technically_, if I do it, it wouldn't be a lie, since I sorta heard it from you, right?" She grins again. "Right!"

Whatever Russell was going to say is demolished now, because Minka is right. What Russell was doing was already manipulation, and chances are, this is going to be much more effective than his old plan. Plus, it's not like Sunil's going to tell anybody that—

"So, can I go tell him?"

Russell nods, albeit hesitantly. "Sure, you can tell him." Minka leaps away from her spot on the floor, hurdling herself away from the recliner chair and towards Sunil. "Just don't tell him you know it's true, because even I'm not sure—" Too late, Minka's already halfway across the pet shop, and raising his voice any further would reveal their plan to the other pets.

"Don't tell _who_ she knows it's true?"

Russell suddenly sucks in air, and he squeaks as it rushes past his teeth. He turns on his heel, instantly turning bright red.

Too late. _Again._

x

"Sunil, Sunil!" Minka cries as she races across the pet shop. Sunil turns around, his eyes growing wide in recognition. Minka can hardly contain her excitement. This could change everything, thiscouldchangeeverything, _thiscouldchangeeverything_.

Just like Russell, Minka has thought—for a while now—that Vinnie and Sunil might be cute together. …Okay, maybe it's more like she saw Vinnie fall on top of Sunil once or twice, and immediately started painting pictures of them in that position, _maybe_ just as an excuse to get them to stay in said position for just a _little longer_… But having them as a couple would also be nice, if not better, because it gave Minka the opportunity to see them in that position for even _longer_! And also kissing. Kissing would be nice.

So when Minka reaches Sunil's side, she bursts into a flurry of excited, incoherent nonsense. "Sunil, Sunil—guesswhatguesswhat_guesswhat,_ You'll never guess! I was talking with someone—I won't say who—and guess what they said _you'll never guess_."

Sunil blinks once, then twice; very quickly. "I—um, Minka…" He takes a deep breath, as if translating her babbling in his head. "Alright, what is it that they were saying?"

Minka's smile grows wider. Here it comes… "_They said_ you and Vinnie—" she drags the next word out for effect, "—miiiiight be kinda really cute together!" She's practically bouncing on her heels now; she's so excited to see Sunil's reaction.

First, Sunil looks confused, if not a little concerned. Then, as realization strikes, his eyes grow wide and his fur takes on a deep red tint. Then, he adverts his eyes from Minka, hunching his shoulders and bringing both paws up to his mouth. "Oh."

Minka's on the edge of her seat now. "Oh?!" she repeats, in a tone nearly opposite of Sunil's.

Sunil's staring at his feet now, so Minka follows his gaze. One foot kicks back and forth, back and forth, nervously. It calms Minka—that, or it makes her nervous, too. Either way, she feels a little less excited.

"I… that's… very… interesting," Sunil mumbles, still not meeting Minka's eyes.

"It is?" Minka smiles, but her voice is less frantic now.

There's a long, significant pause, and then Sunil nods. But—despite what most pets would think—Minka's no fool. Sunil's considering it, Minka knows he is. No matter what, his thought process will prove to be worrisome and self-doubting, and that's going to be the biggest hurdle. That's why overwhelming him is so important. If Sunil doesn't develop feelings for Vinnie—feelings that become a problem—then all of their work will be for nothing.

So at this point, Minka has accepted that if she is any kind of whelming, she is the overly-whelming kind.


End file.
